Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
please don't ironically join a cult
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