Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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