the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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