Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
