We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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