my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
