don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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