He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
