Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
