i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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