he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
