After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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