I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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