Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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