these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
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I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.