he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.