I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid