Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.