there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios