um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.