I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog