The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
