FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
