Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
