I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
