I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
