So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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