I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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