yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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