There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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