Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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