I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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