So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
