It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
