So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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