How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
