I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize