i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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