yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
