i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
