Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My ass is underappreciated
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
