Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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