I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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