I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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