do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
