Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
