Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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