im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
