hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
