So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
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I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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