she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
