My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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