He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
