very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you made out with another girl for some wings
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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