You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
