i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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