You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
