I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i think im in europe. pls send help
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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