you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
