I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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