My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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