Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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